You have lived in Dubai if ...

1) You think California is cold.

2) You know the guy that designed the road system was smoking pot when he did it.

3) You wouldn't turn your head for the second time when a Continental GT passed by... that would take at least a McLaren F1.

4) You're STILL shaking the sand out of your shoes.

5) You got kicked out of school for having a fight outside school during the weekend.

6) You know a friend who won a free car from the local mall. Twice.

7) Coke was cheaper than water. So was gasoline.

8) You remember when 80 F was cold, 90 F was cool, 105 F was warm, and 115 F was hot.

9) If you counted the temperature on the inside of your car, then 110 F (43.3°) was warm, and 130F (55°) was hot.

10) You speak with authority on the qualities of various international airlines.

11) Some dumb American asked you if you rode a camel to school. And you told him that you've seen more Rolls Royce, Mercedes, BMW, and Lexus automobiles on the streets of Dubai than you've ever seen in the USA.

12) You know what the Burj Al Arab is.

13) You had satellite TV and never heard of cable until you came to the USA.

14) If the AC stopped working you had to stay in a hotel.

15) Every fast food chain delivers until 4 in the morning.

16) You had to look both ways crossing a one-way street.

17) You run into someone you know at every airport.

18) You flew before you could walk.

19) You have a passport, but no driver's license.

20) Your wardrobe only has two seasons: hot and warm.

21) You know the geography of the rest of the world, but you don't know the geography of your own country.

22) You got days off school for Christian and Muslim holidays.

23) You secretly wished the rulers of other Middle Eastern countries would die so that you'd get more days off school.

24) Traveling to the US used to mean buying candy, CDs, and Abercrombie and Fitch clothing for your friends back home.

25) --Now it means packing your cases full of clothes and electronics to take to your friends in America.

26) You are used to giving directions using landmarks; street names confuse the hell out of you.

27) The city's street names were part of the millenium bug.

28) It's normal to wake up and have four or more Pakistani men fixing your AC.

29) Police drove on the shoulder of the road and cut people off.

30) You understand that being addressed as "ma'am/sir" by Filipinos is not an insult.

31) Friday was the official weekend.

32) Your parents told you it was too hot to go outside.

33) Your car or your parents' car was equipped with dual AC's.

34) Casio G-Shock: the only watches you've ever owned.

35) You watch BBC, CNN International, and Al-Jazeera... and consider American news to be for entertainment purposes only.

36) Most people on the road don't realize there is a speed limit. Neither do the police.

37) There is NO such thing as Israel. It is Palestine.

38) You've been to the worlds greatest Gold Souk.

39) The movie "Back to the Future" was banned by the government. So was Pokemon.

40) You got back at your friend by pointing at him and yelling, “Yahood!” when you were in a Deira Mosque during Ramadaan. Your friend was hospitalized for the worst slipper-beating in recorded history.

41) You owned Titanic, Jurrasic Park, and Star Wars Episode 1 weeks before they were playing in U.S. cinemas.

42) You currently own a cellphone that will be sold as the "latest technology" in the USA... in a year.

43) You or your friends went to the e-traffic-ticket booths just to check on how much license plate numbers one through fifteen owed.

44) You know that license plate #1 (Sheikh Mohammed!) never has an outstanding balance, but #14 usually owes around 70,000 Dh!

45) You or your friend got stopped by CID and grilled for half an hour about your labour card when you were still in high school.

46) You and your friends tied a biryani plate to the back of a 4x4 out in the desert and rode it through the dunes at 60kph.

47) Sports stores were always 90% football gear, and every kid ended up buying a number. Ronaldo Brazil shirt.

48) Some kid wearing a number 9 Ronaldo shirt would rap Eminem the whole game and not even stop when someone scored a GOAAAAAAAAAAAL!

49) The image of one camel mounting another is still burned into your childhood memory.

50) There was actually a point to owning a SUV and now you're extremely pissed at how the USA has transformed a true off-road utility vehicle into a fashion statement for "soccer moms."

51) You know for a fact that the guys from the Dubai Mens College can drive a Nissan Patrol 28 times around a roundabout on two wheels. And they learned how to do it on the bicycle cars in Safa Park.

52) You've seen a sword dance. At a wedding.

53) You smoked sheesha and would be shocked to find that the pipe would be considered drug paraphernalia in the USA.

54) You know that the Greeks took shawarmas from the Arabs and just renamed them gyros. And you're outraged.

55) You've been in a sand storm and you know that sand stings, scratches cars, and can blind you if you keep your eyes open.

56) You cried when you realized you couldn't buy pasteurized camel milk at U.S. super markets.

57) You know that monsters do exist. They are called camel spiders.

58) You rode ATVs, dirt bikes, and jet ski's... when you were 8 years old.

59) Top 3 uses for your chupl (slippers): Kill cockroaches, smack or throw them at your friend, and actually wear them when the asphalt is too hot to go bare-foot.

60) You know that just because guys are holding hands doesn't mean they're gay. Unless they're on the Russian Beach at night.

61) Security guards let you do whatever you want if you shout at them in Arabic and tell them you know some Police Brigadier's cousin.

62) Traffic accidents are the country's strongest tourist attraction.

63) You never saw a building made of wood until you went to the USA: everything is made of cement, brick, and marble.

64) The best fake ID you ever had was made by your mom.

65) People reffer to your nationality when they call you out.